Park Avenue Divorce Tales

Lest you think that my job is glamorous -- life amongst the rich and occasionally famous, as it were -- think again.  It's not all titillating anecdotes about excessive spending and mildly scandalous extramarital relationships.  Most of it is just a long slog, and truth be told, there are only about five basic stories.  This is not to minimize the very individual agony through which each person goes when their marriage crumbles, but seriously:  the number of basic fact patterns are surprisingly limited.

In any event, there are quite a few dark moments, including the time I had to go to court to obtain an order of protection for a client whose husband had shoved her down a flight of stairs.  There was the former professor of history at a prestigious university, a Ph.D. tragically rendered child-like by a massive brain tumor, whose clever M.B.A. wife finessed his signature on a separation agreement in which he gave up his rights to property or support. (We overturned the agreement after a two-year litigation.)  There was the mother of newborn handicapped twins whose husband walked out of the marriage before she was even released from the hospital after her C-section. 

So . . . glamour?   Not so much. 

Comments

[JulieP]

'Let me tell you about the very rich. They are not like you and me.'

Although there are poor people who are dishonorable also. It just seems that everything else is magnified when there's so much money at stake.

[Short Story Slore]

Wow - I used to feel like the law shows on tv were a little over-the-top, but posts like that really show how many crazy people there are! That poor mother of the twins. I couldn't imagine.

[Karen]

Hi JulieP: Yeah; money does strange things to people.

Hi Short Story Slore: I can't bear to watch the law-based shows on TV, as the inaccuracies are just too irritating. In addition, most of the plots they cook up pale in comparison to reality . . . Anyway, thanks for stopping by!

[Coffee and a Book Chick]

Okay, now I'm depressed! I can't even believe someone would forge a signature on a separation agreement while their husband's like is now totally changed by a tumor. Depressing!

[C J]

Yes, money does do strange things to people - makes them despicably selfish etc., but to do the things that you have described, well I think you've got to be vile to begin with. Can't see Mother Teresa throwing anyone down the stairs after a jackpot win!

[Karen]

Hi Coffee & a Book Chick: Not a forgery in that situation, actually; the wife just convinced him to sign the document and because he was impaired, he didn't really know what he was doing. Tragic story, but it turned out alright in the end. Thanks for stopping by. . . .

Hello CJ: I would have to agree that money or not, you'd have to be without a moral compass to perpetrate some of these stunts. THanks for your comment.

[Odette]

I read an article a while back that claimed the percentage of the population lacking any sense of guilt, compassion or moral responsibility is much larger than people thought - that such people are actually frighteningly common and could be in your life on a daily basis w/o you realizing they were basically psychopaths. My mind & heart shy away from the idea of that, but when you look at the stories of what people do to each other - not just people with addictions or mental problems, but average people, it begins to make a sense. (I wish it didn't.)

What are the "five basic stories" you deal with?

[Liz F]

It's no wonder that so many people in the legal profession are cynics. Same for journalists too - if you aren't cynical when you start, it doesn't take much exposure to human nature to change your nature.

[Karen]

Hi Odette: That's very interesting -- and scary! Meanwhile, you've given me an idea for next week's Thursday post: the "five basic stories." Thank you, and thanks again for stopping by!

Hi LizF: I would imagine that journalists must be keen observers of human nature; and I've had the same experience in my practice. "Cynical" is now my middle name, although I was already pretty far gone in that direction when I started this.

[Martha Snow]

I can't wait to read next week's post as I suppose I would fit very neatly in to one of the "five basic stories."

My divorce taught me one very important lesson and that is in the end, it's all about shared values. I would imagine that one of the most upsetting aspects of divorce law is seeing people at their worst...spoiled behavior and zero values. What a combination!

[Karen]

Hi Martha! Good point about shared values. And yes, even people who usually are decent and kind are not at their best when going through this awful process. I sometimes feel like I'm simultaneously practicing law and babysitting a bunch of unruly spoiled children!