Park Avenue Divorce Tales

If I sometimes (OK, always) seem a bit jaundiced about my career, my feelings are from time to time reinforced in a particularly funny way.  Two instances:

I was making a court appearance with my client in tow, along with her husband and his attorney, a high-profile member of the criminal defense bar (trust me, you've heard of him) who very occasionally dabbles in matrimonial law. (We'll call him Mr. X).   Mr. X and I proceeded to fill out some required forms at the counsel table, while our respective clients seethed at one another from opposite ends of the courtroom.  Mr. X glanced back at his client over his shoulder, then turned to me and muttered, "Trying a death penalty case is less stressful than this."  I raised my eyebrows, and he explained, "the death penalty clients are in JAIL -- they can't call you seven times a day."  He had a point . . . 

Many years ago I was representing a woman, a fellow attorney who worked in the sex crimes unit of one of the local District Attorneys' offices.  We were working on her financial statement, and I asked some routine question about  her monthly budget or the current balance of her checking account or whatever, and she burst into tears.  "How can you do this for a living?" she sobbed.  I have never forgotten that someone who spent her professional life interviewing rape victims thought that I had a distasteful job.  

Comments

[Madame B.]

Laughing! Out! Loud!

This column is hysterical!

[Danielle]

I shouldn't laugh, but I had to come out of 'lurkdom' to say your post elicited a chuckle--just what I needed to get through the morning. I think it's good to have a sense of humor in your job!

[Short Story Slore]

I love his comment about preferring death penalty cases to divorce ones! If I were you during that one I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry!

[martina]

My favorite Park Avenue Divorce Tales post by far!!!

[Karen]

Bonjour Madame B: Happy to oblige! I know you have an appreciation for these anecdotes.

Dear Danielle: Some days I think humor is the ONLY thing that gets me through the day...

Hi Short Story Slore: Laughing/Crying -- it's a close call . . .

Hi Martina: I'm glad you like it!

[JulieP]

Now that I'm back working in matrimonial law (not as much on the "front lines" as you are, obviously), I'm having flashbacks. Yikes.

[Karen]

Hi JulieP: LOL! Yes, I can imagine...

[Martha Snow]

I always suspected that representing murderers would be far more pleasant than handling divorce. I offer my former husband as an example. By the time we finished our divorce (nearly five years) I was convinced that even HIS lawyers wanted to murder him.
Unlike the clients that call too much, this guy wouldn't return calls for days and then he would mark up his own attorney's documents with red ink. If he had been my client I would have choked him.

[Karen]

Hi Martha! Oy -- sounds like you had a real prize there. I HATE it when clients decide to revise their own documents. Because, after all, I'm really interested in the legal drafting of -- just by way of example -- an orthodontist. I don't straighten teeth; he shouldn't be trying his hand at crafting a provision about capital gains tax on the sale of the marital home.

[Odette]

That definitely does sound annoying - especially when you're dealing with emotionally volatile clients whom you have to humor & soothe when you really want to throttle them (I'm imagining).
I guess you probably also see the worst of people who might otherwise be fairly nice. Therapists always say romantic relationships bring everyone's childhood/parental issues out into the open - how much more so this must happen when people are angry or hurting.

Have you had any cases where you felt really satisfied & happy at the end - not just because of winning but because you felt like you did good & the couple would be better off because of what you did? Seems like that should happen at least occasionally (I hope). :)

[Karen]

Hi Odette: Yes, I do from time to time derive some satisfaction from the work. I feel that particularly when I've been able to really educate a client about their rights and obligations, or to provide them some peace of mind about an issue relating to their children. And you are quite correct that I am seeing people at one of the absolute worse times of their lives, and they don't often behave in the most stellar manner. Many of them look to us to provide soothing and comfort, which we are happy to dole out in small doses, but it's much less expensive for them to look to their family and therapists for such reassurance.

[Odette]

That does sound really emotionally exhausting. I'm going to look at divorce attorneys differently because of your blog.

[Karen]

Thanks Odette!